Tuesday, July 28, 2009

My Jesus

After much that have happened between my last post and now regarding my health, I am back in full force again. I truely believe I had to go through what I have that I may witness to you my trust in Jesus and Who He IS more effectively. You see, I had a goiter that had grown on my thyroid gland that had to be removed. In the process of the operation part of the thyroid was removed, as well. A biopsy also revealed a cancerous growth lodging at the back of my throat near the spine (esophogus cancer). The doctor refused to operate for removal, due to the location, could not reach and would have caused it to spread if he made an attempt. Did I know this while I was under sedation? No, but again, Jesus did! So, the doctor recommended radiation and chemotheraphy instead. This all started in January when I had the operation. By mid-February, I was schedule to start treatment. It was not easy with all the many miles of travel I had to put in and enduring the treatments as they progressed. Yes, my whole countenance changed where I could not even recognize myself when looking in the mirror and the appearance of my skin which had turned completely "black," as I am a woman of color and had many splotches in other areas. I had a "trach" inserted in my neck for breathing and a G-tube in my stomach for eating. By the way, I still have them. I have lost forty pounds. (but, I like the size because I am short and should weigh), had a lot of swelling in the face, neck and feet but that's all residing now. I have been hospitalized three times since then, as well, due to lack of sodium and potassium, dehydration, blood cell count for which I had to have two blood transfusions and the feeding tube which have fallen out twice. Right after my treatments, that finally ended in the first week of April, my children decided that it was time that I leave the Southern Virgina area and come back to Northern Virginia, where I belong. My relatives had been giving them a hard time about my care and attention, but the distance did not leave them much choice. Anyhow, they made arrangements for me to stay with my best girl friend until other arrangements could be made. During this time, I had to maintain follow-up visits to my doctors way down south and had to drive more than two hundred miles (one way) sometimes twice a week. I finally got a doctor closer in but not close enough and went to two of them that was recommended which did not prove effective until the second one did refer me to one right here in Alexandria, where I now live. You see, I was driving all the way to Fredericksburg which was about seventy/eighty miles away. By then, I had no health insurance because my "on the job insurance" dropped my coverage on April 30th. I immediately filed for Social Security Disability because I was about to turn sixty two, anyhow, in June. It's a good thing I did or the doctors thereafter would not have taken me on to consider further treatments or follow-ups. Who led me to do these things? I had no knowledge of what to do next. Why it was the Holy Spirit, of course! My Jesus also made a way for me to move into my own place and reestablish myself here in the Northern Virginia area in a place better than I even dared to expect and so very convenient! I am still near to my church as I was when I left in November of 2008. Yes, I have kept the faith and endured the trial/test. Though its not over, I am confident that I will make it all the way through. The "trach" will be removed that I may speak audibly again and the feeding tube that I may eat normal again. I was told that these things were to be temporary during my treatments and recovery. Its not been easy and many times I felt like giving up but I had to reach way down and use my "Holy Ghost tenacity" and fight like the champ/victorious one that I am to have made it thus far. I had a deep desire to share/witness this time in my life, not only to explain the time lapse since my last post whereas I had no access to a computer but to let you know what it mean to have Jesus in your life! He can when we can't. He is "the Rock" to stand on when all else have failed and is "sinking sand." Having faith in Jesus will carry you through lifes struggles. You see, my life and your life is really all about Him. Without Him we can do nothing. It is by the mercy and grace of God that we do anything and make it as far as we do in life because He wish that none should perish but all should come to know and come to repentance by accepting by faith and receiving Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16 ......... more about "My Jesus" in my next post and please don't forget to click on my widget to the left, as you scroll down, to view all of my artwork that is continuously added.

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